THE TRUTH: HOW BEING A STAY-AT-HOME MOM (SAHM) HAS CHANGED MY LIFE. THE GOOD AND THE NOT SO GOOD.

How I became a SAHM

I am a SAHM mom now after being a working mom and due to the coronavirus pandemic have since recognized the beauty in being home for my children and husband.

As a disclaimer: I applaud working and Work from Home (WFH) mom’s because no one is working harder than they are at balancing work, family, home, and the many other hats and spinning plates that they manage.

This unique journey has not been a beautiful one, dazzled with smiles, and laughter, but it was a very tough, panicky, last resort kind of decision.

Overall, I am grateful for this new lifestyle as a SAHM that has been placed in my lap, and I don’t think I would have had the insight to make this decision (which thankfully turned out well) if it weren’t for the economic and public health crisis that led me to this ultimatum.

I never considered that I would be the type to live this SAHM Mom life, however I am grateful because this lifestyle really resonates with my well-being and the interests of my children.

Here are 5 Myths about Stay At Home Moms (that I believed when I was working…), but in this article I explore a few dynamics of how my life has truly changed (positive and negative) as a result.

Mental changes of being a SAHM

I find that I am less stressed, and as a result have a healthier outlook on the upside of life.  I realized that I carried a lot of anxiety day to day while I was working, and 95% of it originated from work itself, and consequently my remaining anxiety was birthed from fears of not being able to get home and family tasks done, since I had to work.

I realized that my nerves were always clenched, anticipating, and agonizing over when I could be done with this meeting, this call, or this day. I always felt ‘on the go’ which I sometimes thrived in; however, it was like there was no off button. Due to this my mind could never rest, and I was always anxious.

Now as a SAHM, I am super calm. I am the pilot of my own ship, I run my day, and this leads me to my spiritual introspection in the next paragraph.

Spiritual changes of being a SAHM

Due to the pandemic, I learned to “slow down”, and eventually to “stop”, running myself to the bone, day in and day out. Spiritually, since life is so much ‘quieter’, I can avail myself to listening to gospel messages, and inspirational music during the day. I feel that it is easier to reflect on the messages as I go through the day, since my mind is not so distracted. 

God’s voice was always speaking to me, even when I was in my daily hustle and grind (for that I am truly thankful). Although I can still discern his voice like any time before, I feel that the messages and studying, root deeper in my spirit because they don’t have to sit on the clutter of my anxiety that I once was hoarding in the closet of my heart.

Physical changes of being a SAHM

Since I am home during the day, I find that I am able to focus on my self care and physical fitness more often than I did when I was working. The idea of taking a bath and doing my nails don’t seem like a “yeah right” kind of concept anymore.

Since I am home I can work out in front of the TV, and cook the healthy foods and recipes that I desire to eat. I can take the time to meal prep the way that I need to. Since I am using this opportunity to create a healthier lifestyle, I realize that I am also unintentionally setting a living example of a healthy lifestyle for my children. I could have also done this while I was working, but I don’t believe it would have been as evident to my children.

Currently, my children are watching and working out with me in front of the TV. They see me choosing water over soda, and are with me in the grocery store and kitchen when I choose and prepare balanced meals. Don’t get me wrong, each day is not a yoga pants day surpassing 10K steps on my smart watch, but I am more encouraged to keep a balanced lifestyle now more than I ever was.

Energy changes of being a SAHM

This is the biggest catch 22. Working Mom or SAHM….if you are a Mom you will ALWAYS BE TIRED! Its comical to me, but I believe it is the truth. When I was working, I was tired due to the commute of drop off, going to work, pick up, then running errands, cooking etc.

Now as a SAHM, I am exhausted from entertaining my own kids Every. Day. 24/7. Although you get a break during their naptime, you really have to be prepared to entertain, dance, teach, take them on outings, and burn them out at every moment.

I compare it to stop and go traffic because usually as soon as you sit down, someone manages to spill something, need a glass of water, has to go to the bathroom etc. This can be tiring…rewarding…but still tiring. Here are a few ways that I stay energized, and make sure I am ready for the day that awaits.

Social changes of being a SAHM

I find that I really miss this more than anything. The one thing that made work fun, was the people that I got to mingle, chat and joke with each day. I find that I took my social interactions for granted. There is easy opportunity for social engagement each day you go to work, but as a SAHM, I realize that I must plan, and schedule these opportunities just to satiate my need to “spill the Tea”, “Dish”, and just do a healthy mental unload.

Although phone and virtual calls are good, there is still a genuine need for live human communication. Thankfully I have my husband, and in a weird but very positive way, we have grown closer because I share more with him now than ever before.

Impact on my children from becoming a SAHM

I am so grateful that I am home for them, and thereby affording them the opportunity to have a low stress, warm and welcoming way of life before they begin any formal schooling.  I enjoy that they get to visit family not just on holidays but that they can enjoy grand and great grandparents on a random Wednesday.

I enjoy that they get to do “field trips” with mommy and can just sleep when they are tired and eat when they are hungry.  I appreciate and value a regimented schedule, however from time to time, I am happy that they have the luxury to deviate from routine since they are still babies.

I think back to times that I made my kids go to daycare although they were sick, because I didn’t have any PTO days left, and how much I worried about them all day long.  I am just grateful that now my kids and I don’t have to struggle through those scenarios anymore. 

Financial impact of being a SAHM

To be a SAHM, I realize that it takes a real partnership of the parents to make it work. Staying financially organized is the backbone of how this is even practically possible. I give all thanks to God for supplying our needs, giving us wisdom on how to move, invest, give, and delegate our funds for each purpose. 

Although things are “tighter” than before, they don’t necessarily feel tighter all the time. By not being employed, I also eradicate the financial needs associated with employment. No need to spend almost $200/month on transportation because I don’t have to take that route daily. No need to spend $70/week on lunch and coffee, because I am home to cook.  No need to buy expensive work clothing, or spend almost $2000/month on childcare, because I am home caring for my children.

This was the BIGGEST eye opener for me.  Although I had been good at growing in my career, the amount that I was making didn’t yet justify the means. It is crazy to me that I was burning myself on both ends just to have almost the same financial outcome that we have now. 

Reflections on being a SAHM

There are many perks to being a SAHM, but each mama has her own journey, and each family has its own needs. I’m not sure how long this season will last for me, but I am grateful for the opportunity to focus on my family, home and marriage needs in this season. Although the SAHM solution is not a perfect solution for happiness, it has been a great season of reflection.

If you are a working mom, or WFH mom, I will only challenge you to assess if your ends justify the means. If your financial income is worth the energy output day to day.   If so, then power on! Working moms are a valuable asset in the workforce.

On the contrary if it does not yet justify the means, then assess this and have a serious conversation with your partner. To prepare for that conversation and gain an indepth assessment of all factors to consider before making the big leap, Read this first!

30 Easy to Prep Toddler snacks (Carb/Protein/Veggies) That can be combined to create balanced toddler meals.

As a mom we quickly learn how important it is to always carry snacks for the little ones (As if we hadn’t already learned the importance of carrying a snack or two during pregnancy). One solid snack can determine if you get to run one last errand with the kiddos or if you have to wrap up and go back home.

Check out this list below, as these food items can easily be stored in a plastic bag, small food storage container, or pureed and placed in a reusable squeeze pouch. As an added bonus, pick one item from each list and create a balanced meal option for your little ones. Some food storage containers even have them divided into 3 compartments so you make life easy. Have fun, experiment if you hadn’t tried one before, then adopt what works well for you and your little one. Hopefully after preparing with these food suggestions, you can buy yourself some more time to make one more stop at the store.

Fruits/Carbs

1.       Apple slices

2.       Pear slices

3.       Sliced strawberries

4.       Sliced grapes

5.       Raspberries

6.       Banana

7.       Mac and cheese

8.       Mashed potatoes or roasted sliced potatoes

9.       PB & J sandwich

10.    Crackers

Protein

1.       Boiled egg

2.       Slices of chicken breasts

3.       Deli meat

4.       Chicken nuggets

5.       Fried Fish nuggets

6.       Cooked salmon

7.       Sliced hamburger patties

8.       Cheese sticks or blocked cheese

9.       Yogurt

10.   Pre-made Tuna patties

Vegetables

1.       Sliced cucumbers

2.       Slices carrots with French onion dip

3.       Steamed broccoli

4.       Cooked peas

5.       Asparagus

6.       Raw sliced yellow bell peppers

7.        Sliced celery

8.        Lettuce leaf (Give them one and let them dip in the dressing)

9.        Sliced zucchini

10.   Halved and precooked Brussel sprouts.

Try a few and see what sticks. Enjoy!

How to plan the ULTIMATE mommy picnic with your little ones.

The Picnic has become the new trend since the Covid-19 Pandemic began. The enjoyment of the outdoors was our only salvation beyond the walls of quarantine at home. “Picnic Party!” is the anthem of this new toddler and preschool generation.

Here is how to plan the perfect toddler Picnic!

Plan the right location.

Pick a place that has a huge playground, jungle gym, swings…the works! This doubles as an excuse to wear them out at the same time. Some parks even have a lightly paved walking trail. Let the little ones walk around and have a scavenger hunt, while you get in a few steps. Its a win for all. A few parks even have outdoor shopping malls within walking distance. Pick a place that might have an ice-cream shop, or cupcakery nearby. That is the ultimate cherry on top, to get a sweet dessert after the picnic.

Bring a blanket unless you plan for a picnic table.

Bring a sturdy picnic blanket (some even come made with a water resistant tarp sewn onto the back side). If you don’t have an official picnic blanket, use a sturdy quilted blanket and simply throw it in the wash when you get home. I still suggest bringing a light blanket for the table, as this prevents splinters.

Bug repellent, sunscreen and cheap fan if it is hot.

Nothing ruins an outdoor picnic like bees, flies, and gnats. You never know if the shampoo you used that morning, or lotion you picked that day, will attract these little flying pests. So invest in a purse sized bottle. Likewise, bring sun screen and a cheap battery operated fan if it is hot outside.

Bubbles! Bubbles! Bubbles! and more Bubbles!

I am so thankful to God for Bubbles! It is the cheapest, yet most rewarding gift that keeps on giving. Their smiles, their laughter, and most of all their unapologetic excitement at the sight of bubbles is just magnificent! Stock up on any bubble products that you can find. There are bubble wands, battery operated bubble machines, and even adult sized bubble wands. Just remember, if all else fails at least you brought bubbles.

“If all else fails, at least you brought bubbles” - Chelsea

The Games

Games aren’t necessary since kids have their own way of creating fun. If you are doing a picnic play date, or gathering together with friend, then games are a good way to break the ice for the shy youngsters. Here are a few easy ones:

• Duck Duck Goose

• Freeze dance

• Red light-Green light

• I Spy

• Simon Says

Play music (On your phone or mini speaker)

Enough said. Play the music that you and your family enjoy. We like to play light contemporary Christian music. Its soothing, its mellow, and fills my spirit up. The kids dance, and sway sometimes, and most importantly its a calming undertone that keeps me centered while they loudly and happily play and run around me.

Toys

No need to haul the whole toy bin. This is more for the toys that are too loud to play in the house. I’m talking about the toys that others had purchased for your kids, that you never got the chance to decline…Haha. Here is your chance honey! Bring out the hand held pianos, hand held drums, flutes, maracas…everything! Let the little ones make as much noise as they want under the morning sky.

Finally… The Brunch

I have often simply placed yesterdays left overs in a food storage container and I’ve warmed them up just before we leave the house. Its a good warm meal, which makes it easier for them to nap later. On the contrary, there have also been times, where I’ll pack light cold snacks, with the intention of eating a hot lunch when we get home. Its all up to you mama! Do what works for you and your family. Just have fun in the process! Check out my article on Healthy toddler snacks for a few picnic meal ideas.